THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME

Have you ever stood in the rain and let it wash over you?

Each drop pelting your skin feels so exciting, refreshing, peaceful, clean and so pure

I used to be so worthless, so unsure of myself

Not knowing where to go or what to do

Life was such a drag

Growing up, I was the kid looked down on for having the uncool shoes and clothes

I was the one who got ignored for having buck teeth and pimples

I was the kid with no parents

Oh! They sure were alive and lived in the same house with me

But for all their input in my life, I would as well have been an orphan on a scholarship

Now as an adult, life was no better

I was the wayward adult with no morals and a lack of sound judgement

I was the mean bitch no one wanted to be with

I was the emotionally bankrupt lady

Days of grief

Days of anger

Days of sorrow

Days of confusion

Days of loneliness

That was how my life went

Oh! How I wished for better things and better days

Sometimes I felt like ending my life

Sometimes I just wanted to rail at the world for ruining my life

Some days were better than others sure

But in all, they were all miserable days, just in varying degrees

On one really, really miserable day, I decided to take a walk

I needed to clear my head of all the chaos whirling around

That day, ending my life was such an attractive option

I sat down for a while on a log, weeping and sobbing

Just then I saw this girl walking towards me

She came to me and asked why I was crying

My tale of woe just came tumbling out: The death of my siblings,

The parents who couldn’t love me or each other, the miserable school moments,

The hideous acts, the loneliness, the bitterness, the money, everything just poured from my lips

She sat with me till I had ended my spiel

Then she looked at me, pulled me to her and gave me a long, hard hug

She said, “You are not alone, He will never leave nor forsake you and I love you”

I looked at her like she had grown horns out of her head

‘Cause all she said was just jabberwocky and gibberish to me

But I felt then some peace and calm

She pulled me to my feet and said, “Let’s go”

Strangely enough I followed her

She led me to a building and took me inside

Inside, there were a group of people just singing

It looked just like a church

I had been in a church just thrice in my life: My christening, my siblings’ funeral service and a friend’s wedding

The environment was so strange

I wanted to leave but she held me fast and led me to a seat

I sat down there listening to the words of the preacher

And just then like raindrops pelting and washing down my skin

I could feel the love of God swirling all around me

So exciting, refreshing, pure, clean, peaceful and invigorating

With tears running down my face and no sense of shame

I stumbled to the altar and cried my heart out to God

I could hear the words again, “He would never leave nor forsake you”

I had finally come home

That was the day I gave my life to God

I walked back with joy in my heart to my seat

But when I got there, she was gone; the girl that brought me

That was the first and last I ever saw of her

If she was an angel, I know not, all I know is that she showed up right on time

Since that day I have been revelling in God’s awesome and great love for me

And I have not looked back

Sure I have stumbled and paused sometimes

But His love always keeps me going

My past had been erased

Life is just so great now

I had people who truly loved me around me

I found my purpose

I found love

I found life

That money is torn or defaced never reduced its true value

God loved me despite all my imperfections

My value did not reduce in his eyes

Each day with God is like standing in the rain again and feeling those raindrops

It just can’t get better than this

God, thank you for loving me